There is an article on why one does not need to get married here . It seems that the writer has seen only bad marriages and never a good one. lets analyze each and every one of his points..
It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change.
"If there is something Indian parents are more eager than getting their kids to clear IIT about, it is getting them married. The moment you enter your mid twenties, the whole world around you discovers a new found obsession to see you tying the knot. Why? Why is it that marriage has been made into the ultimate life goal? Here, we tell you why it’s perfectly fine if you never want to get married."
he makes a basic assumption that its a life goal - well its not - its just another life process and so his entire rant against marriage is to be seen through this "goal" lens rather than a as a process.
1. Marriage is just a label. If you want to be committed to someone, you don’t need a piece of paper telling you that. You can be as dedicated, committed and loving a partner as anyone else without getting married.
good to see that he is all for sex - so its only the physical to keep the relationship (or plural) going - so what happens when the "looks" wear out? - guy doesnt understand what he is writing - why cant you have the same dedicated, committed and loving in a marriage???
2. Contrary to what parents think, a marriage cannot guarantee a secure, lifelong relationship. What has to go wrong will go wrong. People who don’t want to stick around, won’t, either way. And people who truly love you will stay by your side without any declaration. You don’t need to get married to be sure your partner is never going to leave you.
so who said you marry so that the other wont leave you? - quite obviously he does not know the spiritual and societal role of marriage - refer his first point - his thought process hasnt proceeded beyond the sex..
3. It’s strange how some people will spend the rest of their lives with people they don’t even love, suffering every day, just because their parents got them married. It’s funny how a life of compromise is what they see as a solution to a failed marriage. It’s much better to be in a relationship that you can break out of if things don’t go well than hanging on to the wrong person.
by this measure everybody would be in a relationship with everybody else at some point or the other because if life has taught you one thing its about glorious uncertainties and the need for a person to adjust (compromise) with whats served rather than fight and be consumed. nobody has lived life fighting it - they have only lived life by flowing with it.
4. We weren’t born to get married. It’s not as necessary as the Indian society makes it to be. Life is still going to be as good, even if you’re unmarried. Marriage is just an institution and you can choose not believe in it, like religion. There’s nothing wrong with not conforming to the idea of marriage if you don’t believe in it. As simple as that.
so now its an Indian society thing - so another presstitute in the making if not one already. however the second part is the first sensible thing in this article so far - its your choice if you want to get married or not - thats simple..
5. Not all relationships pass the test of time. If break ups weren’t hard enough already, things get unmanageably rough if the two partners are married! Divorces are messy. Always. Whether or not the separation is out of mutual consent. When two people decide to end a long term relationship that they’ve invested their soul and heart into, getting into legal hassles is the last thing they want to be involved in. And don’t even get us started on the alimony laws in the country!
so this joker gets better like scotch - so in his non- married version - there will be no kids and no alimonies - looks like this joker like the presstitutes hasnt done his home work. the law is worse in case of non- married couple who turn up in court fighting over their kids/ money etc etc
6. Your twenties are the time when you finally get out of your shell and explore the many possibilities of life. It is perfectly normal to not want to get tied down by marriage. There is nothing more fulfilling than living life on your own terms and you shouldn’t exchange that for anything in the world!
part 2 of point 4 - no issues with that. though this point shows the selfishness of the writer - wonder how his relationships turn out when its all about your terms and not the other.. just wondering...
7. An average Indian lives for 70 years. He is still not an adult till the age of 18. And, gets married by the age of 25. All he gets is 7 years, 7 out of 70 years of his life, to find a woman he loves. Most people never find ‘the one’ because they get married before they can even try! There’s no acceptable age to fall in love. Why can’t we be dating till we actually find someone worth settling down with?
this aint a reason for not getting married - just an advocacy for love marriage - so now the author is also confused on what he is writing about..
8. Some people want a happily ‘married’ life, some have different priorities. It is perfectly okay to never want to have a wife back home, a house with kids. Some of us just want to be independent all our lives, living by ourselves, doing what we love, doing what we want.
point 4 repeated . just like point 6 showed up his selfishness - this one shows up his paranoia and takes us back to the opening remarks - seems to have only seen bad marriages.. pity this fellow..
9. We grow up seeing everyone getting married around us and assume it is a stage every man has to go through. But how many people who get married do so because they really want to? It just doesn’t make sense to rush into marrying just because everyone else is.
kindly make a list of at 10 people you know who "rushed" into marriage because "everyone else is" - this guy is pathetic..
10. In India, you don’t just marry your partner, you marry their whole family. And truth be told, families are the reason why a married couple is always fighting. If one pair of parents isn’t enough, you get another one that loves getting involved in everything you do. It’s fair to not want so much baggage in a relationship. A relationship is always happier till there aren’t more people involved other than the two partners. And sadly, that’s just not possible in marriages.
so now this selfish paranoic person is an expert on happiness..
11. There’s a lot that is terribly wrong with Indian marriages. The society won’t let you live in peace till you get married. Giving in looks like the solution, but it only makes things worse. Getting married is only the beginning. Once you’re married, a dozen more expectations will be set on you – to have children, to buy a bigger house, an even bigger car. The society will lay down all the rules for you on what is the purpose of a marriage, how an Indian couple behaves and what a successful marriage should mean. It’s really not worth it.
nothing is worth it if you live a life copying the joneses - happiness is a state of mind and sadly the author seems to be missing his..
Personally for me marriage has been a wonderful expression of life with all its glorious uncertainities in this adventure called life. Other than choosing to marry or not - for reasons which are personal, there are no persuasive arguments for or against marriage as this author has tried to make out and failed so miserably.
It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change."If there is something Indian parents are more eager than getting their kids to clear IIT about, it is getting them married. The moment you enter your mid twenties, the whole world around you discovers a new found obsession to see you tying the knot. Why? Why is it that marriage has been made into the ultimate life goal? Here, we tell you why it’s perfectly fine if you never want to get married."
he makes a basic assumption that its a life goal - well its not - its just another life process and so his entire rant against marriage is to be seen through this "goal" lens rather than a as a process.
1. Marriage is just a label. If you want to be committed to someone, you don’t need a piece of paper telling you that. You can be as dedicated, committed and loving a partner as anyone else without getting married.
good to see that he is all for sex - so its only the physical to keep the relationship (or plural) going - so what happens when the "looks" wear out? - guy doesnt understand what he is writing - why cant you have the same dedicated, committed and loving in a marriage???
2. Contrary to what parents think, a marriage cannot guarantee a secure, lifelong relationship. What has to go wrong will go wrong. People who don’t want to stick around, won’t, either way. And people who truly love you will stay by your side without any declaration. You don’t need to get married to be sure your partner is never going to leave you.
so who said you marry so that the other wont leave you? - quite obviously he does not know the spiritual and societal role of marriage - refer his first point - his thought process hasnt proceeded beyond the sex..
3. It’s strange how some people will spend the rest of their lives with people they don’t even love, suffering every day, just because their parents got them married. It’s funny how a life of compromise is what they see as a solution to a failed marriage. It’s much better to be in a relationship that you can break out of if things don’t go well than hanging on to the wrong person.
by this measure everybody would be in a relationship with everybody else at some point or the other because if life has taught you one thing its about glorious uncertainties and the need for a person to adjust (compromise) with whats served rather than fight and be consumed. nobody has lived life fighting it - they have only lived life by flowing with it.
4. We weren’t born to get married. It’s not as necessary as the Indian society makes it to be. Life is still going to be as good, even if you’re unmarried. Marriage is just an institution and you can choose not believe in it, like religion. There’s nothing wrong with not conforming to the idea of marriage if you don’t believe in it. As simple as that.
so now its an Indian society thing - so another presstitute in the making if not one already. however the second part is the first sensible thing in this article so far - its your choice if you want to get married or not - thats simple..
5. Not all relationships pass the test of time. If break ups weren’t hard enough already, things get unmanageably rough if the two partners are married! Divorces are messy. Always. Whether or not the separation is out of mutual consent. When two people decide to end a long term relationship that they’ve invested their soul and heart into, getting into legal hassles is the last thing they want to be involved in. And don’t even get us started on the alimony laws in the country!
so this joker gets better like scotch - so in his non- married version - there will be no kids and no alimonies - looks like this joker like the presstitutes hasnt done his home work. the law is worse in case of non- married couple who turn up in court fighting over their kids/ money etc etc
6. Your twenties are the time when you finally get out of your shell and explore the many possibilities of life. It is perfectly normal to not want to get tied down by marriage. There is nothing more fulfilling than living life on your own terms and you shouldn’t exchange that for anything in the world!
part 2 of point 4 - no issues with that. though this point shows the selfishness of the writer - wonder how his relationships turn out when its all about your terms and not the other.. just wondering...
7. An average Indian lives for 70 years. He is still not an adult till the age of 18. And, gets married by the age of 25. All he gets is 7 years, 7 out of 70 years of his life, to find a woman he loves. Most people never find ‘the one’ because they get married before they can even try! There’s no acceptable age to fall in love. Why can’t we be dating till we actually find someone worth settling down with?
this aint a reason for not getting married - just an advocacy for love marriage - so now the author is also confused on what he is writing about..
8. Some people want a happily ‘married’ life, some have different priorities. It is perfectly okay to never want to have a wife back home, a house with kids. Some of us just want to be independent all our lives, living by ourselves, doing what we love, doing what we want.
point 4 repeated . just like point 6 showed up his selfishness - this one shows up his paranoia and takes us back to the opening remarks - seems to have only seen bad marriages.. pity this fellow..
9. We grow up seeing everyone getting married around us and assume it is a stage every man has to go through. But how many people who get married do so because they really want to? It just doesn’t make sense to rush into marrying just because everyone else is.
kindly make a list of at 10 people you know who "rushed" into marriage because "everyone else is" - this guy is pathetic..
10. In India, you don’t just marry your partner, you marry their whole family. And truth be told, families are the reason why a married couple is always fighting. If one pair of parents isn’t enough, you get another one that loves getting involved in everything you do. It’s fair to not want so much baggage in a relationship. A relationship is always happier till there aren’t more people involved other than the two partners. And sadly, that’s just not possible in marriages.
so now this selfish paranoic person is an expert on happiness..
11. There’s a lot that is terribly wrong with Indian marriages. The society won’t let you live in peace till you get married. Giving in looks like the solution, but it only makes things worse. Getting married is only the beginning. Once you’re married, a dozen more expectations will be set on you – to have children, to buy a bigger house, an even bigger car. The society will lay down all the rules for you on what is the purpose of a marriage, how an Indian couple behaves and what a successful marriage should mean. It’s really not worth it.
nothing is worth it if you live a life copying the joneses - happiness is a state of mind and sadly the author seems to be missing his..
Personally for me marriage has been a wonderful expression of life with all its glorious uncertainities in this adventure called life. Other than choosing to marry or not - for reasons which are personal, there are no persuasive arguments for or against marriage as this author has tried to make out and failed so miserably.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment